first entry, possibly the last
i never thought i'd do one of these... just cuz i was a firm believer that if anyone of my friends, even acquaintances wanted to know my whereabouts or what i was up to would just reach me via cellphone, msn messenger or email... however for some reason, i've kinda decided that it'll be a personal journal for me to look at whenever i feel like... i'm not gonna go outta my way to tell people about this blog, but if anyone i know (or don't know for that matter) find it by accident, lemme know =) ... remember in grade 2 when valentine's day came along... and when you'd get one of those perforated v-day cards from some girl? yah... it would be like that... a nice surprise, but j00 know...
no rules to this blog... just write whatever i feel like, whatever's on my mind... maybe i'll look back on it later and say to myself... "damn d.c., you were a dumbass" or MAYBE "damn d.c., you were quite insightful back in the day... wtf happened to you?" i guess there are times i just wish i documented something i did a certain day or wanted to remember (or not remember - but should still remember) something... maybe have a record of one of my infamous stories so that i don't have to keep repeating them to different people (and for some people re-repeat the same story over and over, but b/c other people haven't heard it, they'll sit thru it again - thanks BITTER BOY)...
so this past week has been a weird one for me... i've been upset and stressed... it's mostly work related, but really it's one incident that involves work people... ever like someone for a long time, but the timing was never right, so you never said anything? it's not really being chickenshit, it's more of thinking about how the relationship wouldn't work out... but then there would be days i'd think it would be really good... and then i'd think, maybe it's best that it doesn't happen... but then one day you find out that someone hooks up w/ that person... and that person knows your fuct up feelings... and that person is your friend... and you know you would be so much a better fit b/c you're not in it for short term... bleh... now you think the girl knows your interest... but still doesn't tell you that she's going on vacation w/ your friend... but instead makes up some other excuse... maybe it's not an excuse... but more of a "conveniently leaving stuff out" kinda reasoning... no one knows that you know, but someone slips something... just enough for you to put the pieces of the puzzle together... not working this week, phone goes right to voicemail... i should be a P.I. ... all of a sudden you just have this pain in your heart... damn... either way i've just decided that it wasn't meant to be... i hate being lied to... but this is the question... should i even expect to be told this information? i'm not even sure if it's any of my business to know... but if no one feels guilty about it, or feels as if i wouldn't be hurt by it, then why go thru the whole secretiveness (is that even a word?)... your friend thinks that you must know cuz you're just not yourself... kinda slips in "you know how you told me not to... blah blah w/ blah blah?... well i couldn't"... i just kinda play it off cuz there's a lot more at stake here... the business... i know he must know i'm kinda upset... but we just let it go... and tomorrow will be another day... i try to convince myself that it's the best thing... sometimes it's tough to give up on something that you thought would happen... listening to a person bitch about their significant other and all the stupid stuff they do or don't do for them... damn it... just get the fuck outta there then! yah yah... easier said than done... i've left people for that...
winterlicious dinner today at fred's not here down by king and john... was kinda nice to have a night out again... i find that my friends keep changing... sure i'll still have the core group that i always count on, but the people i frequently hang out for periods of time keep changing... a couple years ago, there was a group of friends i had that we used to do everything together... dinner, hanging out, coffee at tim horton's... thanksgiving dinner - deep fried breaded turkey, dumplings, and itis... kung pow! then something happens and everyone doesn't talk to each other anymore... fucking stupid... it only takes one thing to unravel something so good... sux when it's not even your fault, cuz then you could at least take credit for fucking it up... but when you're just caught up in between it all... just makes me angry... running a business w/ friends... you chill all the time while the business is running... then the business stops... the friendship stops too... sure we talk w/ each other when we see each other, but there aren't any more calls to see what's up... or "do you wanna go to JD's to chill?"... i'm all over the place with this post.. this paragraph alone sums up 2002 - 2004... i wonder what will happen when and if this current business (K&F) ends... i'm not used to sounding so negative, but i'm sure everything will work itself out... (the positive side speaking again)... i think this is enough for today's first entry, possibly the last...
no rules to this blog... just write whatever i feel like, whatever's on my mind... maybe i'll look back on it later and say to myself... "damn d.c., you were a dumbass" or MAYBE "damn d.c., you were quite insightful back in the day... wtf happened to you?" i guess there are times i just wish i documented something i did a certain day or wanted to remember (or not remember - but should still remember) something... maybe have a record of one of my infamous stories so that i don't have to keep repeating them to different people (and for some people re-repeat the same story over and over, but b/c other people haven't heard it, they'll sit thru it again - thanks BITTER BOY)...
so this past week has been a weird one for me... i've been upset and stressed... it's mostly work related, but really it's one incident that involves work people... ever like someone for a long time, but the timing was never right, so you never said anything? it's not really being chickenshit, it's more of thinking about how the relationship wouldn't work out... but then there would be days i'd think it would be really good... and then i'd think, maybe it's best that it doesn't happen... but then one day you find out that someone hooks up w/ that person... and that person knows your fuct up feelings... and that person is your friend... and you know you would be so much a better fit b/c you're not in it for short term... bleh... now you think the girl knows your interest... but still doesn't tell you that she's going on vacation w/ your friend... but instead makes up some other excuse... maybe it's not an excuse... but more of a "conveniently leaving stuff out" kinda reasoning... no one knows that you know, but someone slips something... just enough for you to put the pieces of the puzzle together... not working this week, phone goes right to voicemail... i should be a P.I. ... all of a sudden you just have this pain in your heart... damn... either way i've just decided that it wasn't meant to be... i hate being lied to... but this is the question... should i even expect to be told this information? i'm not even sure if it's any of my business to know... but if no one feels guilty about it, or feels as if i wouldn't be hurt by it, then why go thru the whole secretiveness (is that even a word?)... your friend thinks that you must know cuz you're just not yourself... kinda slips in "you know how you told me not to... blah blah w/ blah blah?... well i couldn't"... i just kinda play it off cuz there's a lot more at stake here... the business... i know he must know i'm kinda upset... but we just let it go... and tomorrow will be another day... i try to convince myself that it's the best thing... sometimes it's tough to give up on something that you thought would happen... listening to a person bitch about their significant other and all the stupid stuff they do or don't do for them... damn it... just get the fuck outta there then! yah yah... easier said than done... i've left people for that...
winterlicious dinner today at fred's not here down by king and john... was kinda nice to have a night out again... i find that my friends keep changing... sure i'll still have the core group that i always count on, but the people i frequently hang out for periods of time keep changing... a couple years ago, there was a group of friends i had that we used to do everything together... dinner, hanging out, coffee at tim horton's... thanksgiving dinner - deep fried breaded turkey, dumplings, and itis... kung pow! then something happens and everyone doesn't talk to each other anymore... fucking stupid... it only takes one thing to unravel something so good... sux when it's not even your fault, cuz then you could at least take credit for fucking it up... but when you're just caught up in between it all... just makes me angry... running a business w/ friends... you chill all the time while the business is running... then the business stops... the friendship stops too... sure we talk w/ each other when we see each other, but there aren't any more calls to see what's up... or "do you wanna go to JD's to chill?"... i'm all over the place with this post.. this paragraph alone sums up 2002 - 2004... i wonder what will happen when and if this current business (K&F) ends... i'm not used to sounding so negative, but i'm sure everything will work itself out... (the positive side speaking again)... i think this is enough for today's first entry, possibly the last...
posted by DC at 1:46 AM
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